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Notes From The Flip Side: 08.27.2000

I've had a lot on my mind lately, mostly about relationships. A very dear friend of mine just split with her husband; I helped her move out while he made snide comments. It reminded me of my last move; the circumstances were pretty similar. For the few hours it took us to throw stuff in boxes, the air was thick with shrapnel from breaking hearts and bitter words and the medics never showed up, despite all the screaming.

I think it's obvious by this point that, as Tom Robbins once noted, I don't know how to make love stay. Hell, I can't seem get past a first date these days. So I read. I drink coffee. I go to punk shows and fall in love with the music all over again. It dresses the wounds that hurt me, and every once in a while, it reminds me that those wounds will heal in time and that we may all be whole again, even if the new flesh is a lighter shade than the older skin, and somewhat tender.

I haven't found any words to make times or feelings like these easier; the closest I've found are books that exhibit an understanding of the emotions at stake - that clearly detail similar losses and tragedies, and perhaps offer a glimmer of hope at the edge of the forbidding clouds. But at times like these, understanding words, no matter how consoling they may be, just aren't enough.

For me, power chords are enough - piece them together in the right order and it's a pure endorphin burn that kills any lingering pain and wipes away the bitter residue of failure in love. There is no time that I feel more alive than screaming along with words I don't even know as a band I've never seen before and may never see again annihilates the frustrations of the day in staccato three-chord blasts of fury. And at moments like that, it feels like nothing could ever hurt me again.

Site Updates

Chump Of The Year is done and being distributed. It's also available on this site.

I've also added some reviews. I'm gradually adding the reviews from issues 6, 7 and 8.

Now Playing:

The Weakerthans "Left and leaving," Hot Water Music "Live at the Hardback," Leatherface "Mush," Down By Law "Last of the Sharpshooters"

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Last modified on Wednesday, March 26, 2008