The Regrets
"New Directions: Results Beat Boasts" CD (crank!)
So thar ?I wuz, reading Rimjob Mulcher's pedantic blah-de-blah in the Bleeder when I realized thar wuz a fli on my wall thet I hadn't yet squashed cuz I wuz still too drunk from drinking cheap canned beer frum the night before when I went to go see the Fabulous Cocksucking Quartet, these five guys from New Orleans who cover songs lik "I'm On Fire" by maaking slurping noises with their mouths which made me remember all them nights back in Kentucky with my sisters when we'd all sleep in the same bed and get all sticky and sweaty and wake up crazy-glued together frum our fun. So then I grabbed the swatter and smashed the fuckr flat on the wall, and I thought ... wow. Abstract art.