Puckett
A grouchy, lovable, shit-talking, cantankerous, friendly asshole who carries a flamethrower which is permanently set to char. He loves music in all its varied forms, hates insincerity unless it is also ironic (in which case he usually only loathes it), despises most genres and their most commercial proponents, and thinks most sub-regional scenes (i.e. Williamsburg, Silverlake, etc., et. al.) and the douchebag hipsters who love them would be better off if they all spontaneously collaborated on a cover of John Cage's "4'33" to be repeated in perpetuity. He hates most of the bands you like and, like any jaded music snob, won't hesitate to tell you why they suck. Much like Yo La Tengo, he is not afraid of you and he will beat your ass, metaphorically speaking.